She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
