My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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