Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
