Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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