he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
