O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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