it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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