Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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