are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
