you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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