Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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