fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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