My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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