google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
