ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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