We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
