It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
