Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
