I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
