Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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