walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
