It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
