fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
