my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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