i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
