I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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