i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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