The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
