loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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