He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
