i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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