He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
