If i come over, it means nothing
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
