A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
