If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
