i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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