Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
