Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dignity is for republicans.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
there is another microwave in the elevator.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
