these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
