Sponge bath it is.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My feet surprised me
Randomize
