Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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