going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
