i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
