I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
