reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I woke up under a house in Key West
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