I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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