I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
