That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
