those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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