You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why didn't you poke me back
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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