the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
