I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
