So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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