Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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