thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
