And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just forgot I was standing up.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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