She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
